Thursday, November 1, 2012

SOME QUESTIONS FOR NOLLYWOOD



1.How can a ghost look left & right before crossing the road? 'Dem dey fear accident?'
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2.Why does the TV go off by itself after the 'breaking news'?

3.Why do all native doctors paint one eye?

4.Why must every advert Start with a loud scream?

5.Why must every juju part be represented by lightening & thunder under the bright sunlight?

6.Why do Nigerian movies always have part one to five?

7.How can Segun Arinze be Ramsey Noah's dad… Any resemblance?

8.Why will a blind mother say, “I'm happy to see you my son”?

9.Why is Jim Iyke always coming back from America & speaking with a fake British accent?

10.When will Pastor Ajidara stop being a fake pastor?

11.Why is it that the characters die or run mad immediately after deir confessions?

12.Which evil woman washed pant inside soup that Tony Umez ate & became the god of Nollywood imbeciles?

13.Epic Village Movie Set in the 90s still finds Mercy Johnson with Brazilian hair, how come?

14.Hw can N2bn fit into a small Ghana-Must-Go bag?

15.Must all hired assassins be found in uncompleted or abandoned buildings? 'Na dem papa house?'

16.Why must a film have Part 1,2, 3; Return of The Film 1,2 & 3; The Same Film 'Reloaded' 1,2 & 3? WHY!?

17.Wil a Yoruba movie ever be complete without a visit to the 'Baba'?

18.Study:9 out of 10 times, Olu Jacobs dies of heart attack in Nollywood movies,why?

19“15 years ago” & Ini Edo calls her Boyfriend with a Bold 5..=D How is this possible?

20.Why will d parents call their child 3 times nd ask him/her how many time did I call you? 'Dem no sabi count?'

21.When poor people come to Lagos to struggle dey always make it, if na so why poor people still dey Lagos?

22.Why is it dat Ogogo is always innocent but must be a victim of circumstances?

23.Who translates Yoruba films witout studyin English e.g “My wife is a pregnancy & she go borned the pikin soonest